What is Your Deepest Fear?

Facing the Challenges of the Unknown

Speech presented at 8^th Grade Graduation
Albany Preparatory Charter School
June, 2011

Most of you have been to my office at least once. When you watch the screen saver on my computer, you have seen a question pop up: What is your deepest fear?

Some of you have asked me, “Mr. Booth, what is your deepest fear?” I usually answer the question with one word, “Me.”

Let me explain by telling you what happened when I was ten years old:

When I was ten years old, a family friend died. He was over seventy years old. His widow, Mary Brown, asked my parents if they would allow some of their children to stay at her home at night because she was afraid of being alone. My parents agreed and volunteered my two older brothers and myself. Mary Brown lived about six blocks from our house. She lived in front of an old grave yard that was overgrown with trees and brush.

Every night we would go to her house and would walk home every morning. My brothers got up at 5AM every morning to return to our home. They were quick at getting dressed and leaving. I was always trailing behind. I tried hard to keep up, but sometimes they would leave me before I was ready. I hated when they left me. I hated it because I had to walk home in the dark. And I hated walking in the dark- especially when I had to go past a grave yard. My fear of passing the cemetery and walking in the dark caused me to imagine all types of things following me. I was always looking back to make sure no one would bother me.

I really had no reason to be afraid. I knew every person who lived on that street. I knew every kid and every house they lived in. And, they all knew me. Why was I afraid?  Because I let my fears take control of me. As a result, I would allow every emotion erupt as I was walking home from Mary Brown’s house: anger- at my brothers for leaving; frustrated at myself for not leaving with them; fearful that I would be harmed by someone- although no one was going to harm me.

When I learned to face my fear of the dark, the darkness no longer evoked fear.

When I learned that I was the source of my fear I stopped being afraid of the dark.

What I have learned over the years is that my deepest fear is me. Your deepest fear is you. We prevent ourselves from becoming our best because we are afraid of what others will think about us. We are afraid of being noticed. We are afraid that people will begin demanding too much of us. We are afraid that we will look stupid. We are afraid that people will laugh at us. And so, we put limits on ourselves.

President Franklin Delano Roosevelt
32nd President of the USA

Fear seems to be the most prominent issue that all of you face. Many of you will avoid doing work or performing a task because you are afraid of failing.  Some of you are very gifted at singing or playing instruments, but will refuse to perform in front of your peers because you are afraid of making a mistake. Others are extremely smart, but you chose not live up to your potential because you are afraid of being that smart person. You are afraid of how people will see you or treat you when they discover how smart you are.  

President Franklin Delano Roosevelt said that the only thing to fear is fear itself.

Face your fears.

This past year you have been challenged to face your fears. Throughout your time at Albany Preparatory Charter School we have presented challenge after challenge to help you face your fears. Our goal was to help you become daring. We wanted to push you to strive for excellence. As you accepted each challenge you became more confident. You discovered abilities that you never realized that you had.

When we had talent shows, many of you stepped up and presented your talent before your peers in spite of being afraid. When we had dance contests, many of you performed before the staff and your peers in spite of being fearful that someone would poke fun at you. When you had to learn new information in math, science, ELA or social studies, many of you faced the challenge of learning information that stretched you.

When you were told you had to complete eight hours of volunteer work, you showed how creative you could be. Some of you had bake sales to address children who are hungry. Others sponsored a food drive and donated can goods to the St. James Food Pantry. One young man volunteered at the Boys and Girls Club. Another spent his time at a nursing home. Several volunteered at a local library. Another spent thirty hours volunteering at a haunted house. Some of you volunteered at your church. Some of you volunteered several hours to help Mr. Juman with the book sale.

We are so proud of you. We are so proud at how faced your fears and accepted our challenges. We are so proud of you.

As you leave Albany Preparatory, we want to encourage you to keep being daring. Do not be afraid of the new challenges you face. Face your fears about next year. Remember the only thing you have to fear is fear itself.

Make us proud!

How You Leave

Inspirational Words for 8th Graders"
at Albany Preparatory Charter School
June 8, 2012

by Antonio Booth

Did you know that people will remember two things about you? They will remember how you started and how you ended.

The most important memory that we will have of you is how you completed your year. Did you finish strong? Or, did you wimp out? Did you give up easily? Or, did you persevere in spite of the challenges you faced?

Throughout this year we have worked hard to help you finish strong. We presented challenges so that you could learn to persevere and not give up. You were the first group of eighth graders that had to complete twenty hours of community service. You were the first group of eighth graders that had to use Microsoft Publisher to create and document your personal project.  

Did you wimp out from these challenges? Some of you wanted to; but we refused to let you. Some of you fussed about completing twenty hours of volunteer time, but we helped you find meaningful ways of fulfilling your obligation. We are proud that you fed the homeless at Interfaith Homeless Shelter. We are proud that you helped clean parks in the South End Neighborhood. We are proud that you participated in the Juvenile Diabetes Walk. We are proud that many of you participated in raising money for our neighbors on Park Avenue who lost their homes due to a fire.

Parents, many of our students found volunteer work on their own. For example:

·         Donovan chose to help Schoharie County hurricane victims clean out their homes. He made a PowerPoint to show our sixth graders about the impact of Hurricane Irene

·         Anthony is busy volunteering at Pine Bush Discovery Center.

·         Jessica Mitchell and Diamond Magwood finished their volunteer work before school began.

·         Faith has volunteered over two hundred hours fostering pit bulls.

·         Pre-Shea helps with a church soup kitchen almost every Saturday.

·         Michael handles the video and sound system at his church.

·         Devon spent her summer vacation in the Dominica planting trees at a National Forest.

·         Tabitha, Shanell, Micheaude, Destiny, Natasha and Hector organized a dance to raise money for breast cancer.

·         Taquee and Marquis and Aubrey collected stuff animals to help kids who faced abuse.

·         Our students baked at least five hundred cookies and made over 300 sandwiches for the Albany City Mission.

·         Some of them volunteered at the New York State Museum.

Eighth graders, when you look at the end of this past year you should be proud at how you finished your eighth grade year. You finished strong. You did not wimp out. You did not give up. This is how your teachers and administration will remember you.

This is your last year at Albany Preparatory Charter School. Today will be your last memory of matriculating at Albany Prep. It is a positive memory because you did what it took to make it to the finish line.

Next year you will be starting a new adventure. You will be in high school. At Green Tech you will be told that you will have to complete 100 hours of volunteer work by the time you graduate. At Purple Tech you will have to complete 150 hours of community service before graduating. At Albany High you will be demanded to stay in class and encouraged to take rigorous courses to prepare you for college. Whatever high school you enter, demands will be made upon you about your behavior and academic standards.

Will you start strong in your ninth grade year? Will finish strong in your twelfth grade year?

Will you accept the academic challenges of high school or will you give up?

Start strong
Finish strong- even if the work is difficult!

Start strong
Finish strong- even when you feel you cannot do the work

Start strong

Finish strong – even when you do not make the grades that others do

Start strong
Finish strong- even if you have to get someone to tutor you

Life’s race is never to the swift or the fastest. The winner of the race is always the one who perseveres to the end.

An African Olympic runner participated in the summer Olympics in Mexico. When he was running in the race, he fell and dislocated his knee. Instead of stopping and throwing in the towel he continued hobbling. He was the last man to finish the race. The crowd saw him hobbling over the finish line and gave him a standing ovation.  Later he was asked why he did not quit because he was injured. He said, “My country did not send me five thousand miles to start the race. They sent me 5,000 miles to finish the race.

Albany Prep eighth graders your teachers, your parents and the administration have not invested all of our time and energy in getting you prepared for high school for your to simply to start high school. We expect you to finish high school.

Start strong!

Finish strong!
Start strong!

Finish strong!

How you start and how you end will be the two things that people will remember about you.

Start strong!
Finish strong!

   ___________________________________________________

Have you been asked to speak at a special ocassion?

Perhaps this message will inspire you.
If you would like me to speak at a special ocassion contact me at bootha@juno.com

Antonio Booth

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Spiritual Mentoring Is a Two Way Street

Mentoring Also Involves Learning from the Mentee

Antonio Booth

For three years I ministered in the Kingdom of Swaziland. It is a small country that is about the size of New Jersey with less than one million people. While there I befriended Bonginkhosi Target Gama, a twenty year old who was unemployed and attending one of our Baptist churches in Swaziland. Bonginkhosi means “thank God”. His friends gave him the name “Target” because he was so adept with soccer. So Bonginkhosi adopted “Target” as his middle name.  My friendship with Target became a mentoring relationship. Through Target  I learned powerful lessons of a being a spiritual mentor.

When I first met Target, he was assisting with worship. He also translated the sermon from English into Siswati. My wife and I were impressed with this young man that we decided to meet him after worship. Target told me he finished high school and was looking for a job. Within a few weeks, we offered him a position as a Mission Helper at our Baptist Mission. This position was designed to give young people, who recently graduated from high school, an opportunity to gain skills while looking for a permanent job or trying to gain admission into college. He gladly accepted the position.

In my spirit, I felt God  leading me  to mentor this young man. Little did I know that Target was praying for someone to coach him during this period of trying to develop career goals and deepen his spiritual life.  It was the first time I got involved with a young person who really took to heart my counsel.  For example,  when Target arrived at the Baptist Mission, I met with him to discuss money management. We explored previous jobs and how he spent or saved his money. We discussed the importance of saving and tithing a portion of one’s income. To my surprise Target was very receptive and committed himself to tithing his monthly income. Throughout my time in Swaziland, Target became a regular tithing church member.

It seems God used almost any encounter we had to help Target grow into the man God had designed him to be.  After Target completed his driver training and got his license, he asked to use the Baptist Mission vehicle to practice his skills. While coaching Target about his driving techniques, Target also wanted to talk about a lot of topics such as faith, money, dating and personal issues. He willingly accepted my counsel.

The most open disclosure was his relationship with his father. Target’s father abandoned the family while he was in high school. His father, a polygamous,  married another woman and started a new family. The father did not maintain any contact with Target or his siblings or his mother.  The father gave no financial support to the family. Target’s mother had to sell fruits and vegetables to pay school fees and provide for her children. When his nephew was hospitalized due to severe  burns, Target’s father did not visit the hospital or call any relatives to find out about his grandson. Target perceived his father’s indifference as another indication of not caring for his family.  Target asked, “How could he abandon us?”

His open disclosure made me realize that I became the father figure Target longed for. I became the person Target could seek spiritual and practical guidance. I became the person who would coach him about his career choices. He was a twenty year old high school graduate whose father abandoned him. His mother could not write her name; therefore could not really advise Target about career choices.  Getting into college was difficult for a person without means or influence. If Target did not have someone in his life coaching him, Target’s life would be limited to “day jobs” such as making cement blocks.  He would become like so many Swazis with little hope for their future. His fatalistic attitude about life would become, “This is the way it is.” Somehow God wanted to use me to open his eyes to see his future with hope.

Even so, my relationship would not be limited to what I could do for him. Target also had something that I needed. Target taught me this lesson. He taught me that spiritual mentoring should not be one sided.  It should not be limited to one person being the sage, while the other sits at the sage’s feet. Each must give something in the relationship.  The mentor must recognize that God brought the mentee in his or her life for a reason. If the person you are mentoring is to mature, the mentor must accept ministry from that person. Mentoring has to involve expecting the mentee to bless you also. This idea is best captured in the scene in the movie, “ Antwone Fisher”  where the psychiatrist salutes Antwone, the patient,  for helping him become a better father, husband and man.

The Bible illustrates the same concept. Luke writes that the women who followed Jesus, used their resources to support his ministry. The women came to receive his teachings, but also ministered to Jesus.  Jesus accepted their ministry of giving. The repentant woman came to Jesus for forgiveness, but also ministered to Jesus by washing his feet with her tears and drying them with her hair.  He received her ministry of hospitality. The Philippians not only received Paul’s message of salvation, but also supported Paul by sending money and people to assist him in his ministry when he was in Corinth and other places. Paul wrote to the Romans informing them that when he visits, he wants to be mutually encouraged. Paul wants to accept the Roman Christians’ ministry of encouragement.

Target was surprised when I asked him to become my teacher.  In his culture, a twenty year old is called a “little boy” by older people. A twenty year old does not advise an older man.  I was old enough to be Target’s father. However, I accepted him as my teacher.  I sat at his feet to learn how to speak Siswati. He helped me understand the difference  between the words today and now. He  taught me how to greet people. He taught me how to greet a congregation in the name of Jesus. Target helped me understand the culture; what is considered rude and what is considered polite. His lessons helped me  to  include cultural ideas in my sermons. My lessons also became informal mentoring sessions.  As we met week after week for Siswati lessons  I saw a “little boy” growing into his manhood. I witnessed a young man being transformed into a spiritual man.

Target also taught me the joy of being a father figure. My wife and I have no children.  Even so, God blessed us with many spiritual children. Target became one of our family members. I enjoyed his relationship as much as my brothers enjoyed being with their sons. Target told me the way he honored his father was by living with integrity. Target demonstrated how much  he honored me as a father by appropriating our discussions in his life.  I pitied Target’s father for not appreciating the great son God gave him.  He was given a son with a heart for the Lord. Target tried to maintain sexual purity. He went home every weekend to help his mother with the homestead- chopping wood, building a fence around the property, planting a garden, etc. Target never begrudged these responsibilities. Who could ask for a better child?  I once told Target, “ If your father does not want you as his son, I will gladly adopt you.”

As I reflect on our relationship, I realized that Target taught me that effective mentoring has the following factors:

1.       Spiritual mentoring should be done prayerfully. God leads you to the person He wants you to disciple. God wants to use that person to work further personal  transformation within you. Target prayed for help, God lead me to Target.

2.       Spiritual mentoring should be done in a humble spirit. The mentor should always expect that the mentee has something to offer. Pray for God to show you what it is. When God shows you, encourage the mentee by becoming a student or mentee.  As you do so, you will also discern the person’s spiritual gifts and passion.

3.       Spiritual mentoring should not be limited to Bible study sessions. The Bible should be central in discussions to help the person gain God’s wisdom in decisions and handling personal situations.  Instead of Bible study sessions, give the person spiritual books to read. Target read Christian books such as The Cross and the Switch Blade, 1800 Degree Sex, Giants in the Land, Five Love Languages, etc.  

4.       Spiritual mentoring should have spontaneity. Our best discussions were when Target would drive me to different places.

5.       Spiritual mentoring should always be confidential.  Target’s willingness to disclose personal issues was because he knew I would never breach his confidentiality.