Vacationing with a Purpose

Vacationing with Mom

Throughout my childhood my mother was a working mother. In fact, most of the mothers in my neighborhood worked. I considered it as normal for a woman to work as it was for a man. Only when I moved to New England and began hanging in conservative Christian circles did I meet people who were appalled that a mother would work outside the home. It was in those circles that I began to hear the gospel that a woman’s place was in the home. Whenever I told a conservative friend that my mother was a working parent I was always asked if felt neglected because she worked outside the home. A shocked expression would appear on his or her face when I said no. When I think about that question I am certain that if anyone asked any of my siblings if they felt neglected because she worked, they would all say no. In fact, they would probably all agree that sometimes it was best that she worked.

You see, Mom had such longevity on her job that when we were in grade school she was able to take four weeks of vacation each year. She never used all of her time at once. She would take a week off shortly after the school year ended in June. During that week she started her vacation with a purpose. I truly believed my mother created this idea long before it became popular on college campuses and with people who want to make a difference in the world. She created a vacation week that she and her children would vacation with a purpose. Her purpose was to teach proper work habits to her brood. Her June vacation was all about spring cleaning. She had a small army of six whom she would mentor, coach and coerce into becoming diligent workers.

Spring cleaning meant taking all the mattresses outside and sun-bathing them. It meant taking all the metal springs outside and washing them. It meant washing every window. It meant thoroughly sweeping every crack and crevice of dust, dirt and cobwebs. It meant taking out all the best china and carefully washing each item. It meant washing every cabinet shelf and lining it with fresh newspaper. It meant washing walls and painting every room. It meant washing all the linen whether it needed it or not. It meant cleaning the yard by getting rid of un-necessary debris.

My Mom was not a slave driver. Even though sometimes you felt that way because throughout most of your waking moments you were kept busy with one of her projects. We could have become resentful towards her. However, it was hard to become angry with this woman because she would whole-heartedly delve into those projects and work as hard as or harder than her six delegates. Each night she would bask in the accomplishments of the day. My sister, Antoinette, remembers how Mom would remark each night before bed-time: “Doesn’t it feel good to go to bed in a clean house?” The question sounded more like a statement. Of course before we could answer we would be sound asleep.

When Mom’s spring cleaning vacation was over, she would return to work the following Monday as refreshed as if she had enjoyed a trip to the Caribbean. All six of us would breathe a sigh of relief that our vacation with a purpose was over. Mom was off to work and finally we could relax and really enjoy the summer.  

Even so, before going to work Mom would “lay down the law” with a list of chores which must be completed and certain things we could not do.

-“Now I don’t want any…”
- “Yes Ma’m” we would say
-“Make sure that you…”
-“OK, Ma.”
-“And don’t go hanging around…”
-“Yes Ma’m.”

Believe me, you better follow her instructions or you would hear about it later. Or even worse, you might feel the effects of her displeasure. Those cotton-picking, tobacco harvesting black hands had power. Once when were goofing around the house, one of us broke a window pane. When she arrived home, she asked who was responsible for the damage. Since no one took responsibility, she spanked all of us.

When I reflect on those years, I have no ill feelings. I believe that Mom’s spring cleaning vacations played a major role in welding our family together as a strong unit. Her demands and expectations gave us a sense of belonging. It made each of us realize the significant role we had in this family unit. She taught us how to persevere with a task until it was completed. She built our self-esteem by helping us to rejoice over an accomplishment. And she modeled good work habits.

As we got older, Mom rarely “laid down the law”. She did not have to do so. Her expectations were instilled within us. Our deep sense of being a family member motivated us to ensure that our home was orderly and well-kept. To this day, each of my siblings attacks a chore with little effort. My brothers will clean the toilet as well as the sisters. Their attitude is “if it must be done, them someone must do it…”

Working outside the home was not a feminist statement. My mother worked for practical reasons. It was a pragmatic endeavor to help Dad put food on the table, clothes on our backs and keep a roof over our heads. Somehow, Mom was able to stay involved in the various school activities, PTA meetings, remain on numerous boards, and weld a strong family unit while working outside the home. Her ability to juggle these activities was absolutely amazing. I believed she was able to do this because she always remembered that her primary calling was Mom. Her calling was to nurture her family, teach them great values and proper work skills. For this reason she set aside a week’s vacation to teach life-long skills that helped us become the successful adults that she envisioned. What a Mom!

 

Antonio Booth
© 1993