Vacationing with Mom
You
see, Mom had such longevity on her job that when we were in grade school she
was able to take four weeks of vacation each year. She never used all of her
time at once. She would take a week off shortly after the school year ended in
June. During that week she started her vacation with a purpose. I truly
believed my mother created this idea long before it became popular on college
campuses and with people who want to make a difference in the world. She
created a vacation week that she and her children would vacation with a
purpose. Her purpose was to teach proper work habits to her brood. Her June
vacation was all about spring cleaning. She had a small army of six whom she would
mentor, coach and coerce into becoming diligent workers.
Spring
cleaning meant taking all the mattresses outside and sun-bathing them. It meant
taking all the metal springs outside and washing them. It meant washing every
window. It meant thoroughly sweeping every crack and crevice of dust, dirt and
cobwebs. It meant taking out all the best china and carefully washing each
item. It meant washing every cabinet shelf and lining it with fresh newspaper.
It meant washing walls and painting every room. It meant washing all the linen
whether it needed it or not. It meant cleaning the yard by getting rid of
un-necessary debris.
My
Mom was not a slave driver. Even though sometimes you felt that way because
throughout most of your waking moments you were kept busy with one of her projects.
We could have become resentful towards her. However, it was hard to become
angry with this woman because she would whole-heartedly delve into those
projects and work as hard as or harder than her six delegates. Each night she
would bask in the accomplishments of the day. My sister, Antoinette, remembers
how Mom would remark each night before bed-time: “Doesn’t it feel good to go to
bed in a clean house?” The question sounded more like a statement. Of course
before we could answer we would be sound asleep.
When
Mom’s spring cleaning vacation was over, she would return to work the following
Monday as refreshed as if she had enjoyed a trip to the Caribbean. All six of
us would breathe a sigh of relief that our vacation with a purpose was over.
Mom was off to work and finally we could relax and really enjoy the summer.
Even
so, before going to work Mom would “lay down the law” with a list of chores
which must be completed and certain things we could not do.
-“Now
I don’t want any…”
- “Yes Ma’m” we would say
-“Make sure that you…”
-“OK, Ma.”
-“And don’t go hanging around…”
-“Yes Ma’m.”
- “Yes Ma’m” we would say
-“Make sure that you…”
-“OK, Ma.”
-“And don’t go hanging around…”
-“Yes Ma’m.”
Believe
me, you better follow her instructions or you would hear about it later. Or even
worse, you might feel the effects of her displeasure. Those cotton-picking, tobacco
harvesting black hands had power. Once when were goofing around the house, one
of us broke a window pane. When she arrived home, she asked who was responsible
for the damage. Since no one took responsibility, she spanked all of us.
When
I reflect on those years, I have no ill feelings. I believe that Mom’s spring
cleaning vacations played a major role in welding our family together as a
strong unit. Her demands and expectations gave us a sense of belonging. It made
each of us realize the significant role we had in this family unit. She taught
us how to persevere with a task until it was completed. She built our
self-esteem by helping us to rejoice over an accomplishment. And she modeled
good work habits.
As
we got older, Mom rarely “laid down the law”. She did not have to do so. Her
expectations were instilled within us. Our deep sense of being a family member
motivated us to ensure that our home was orderly and well-kept. To this day, each
of my siblings attacks a chore with little effort. My brothers will clean the
toilet as well as the sisters. Their attitude is “if it must be done, them
someone must do it…”
Working
outside the home was not a feminist statement. My mother worked for practical
reasons. It was a pragmatic endeavor to help Dad put food on the table, clothes
on our backs and keep a roof over our heads. Somehow, Mom was able to stay
involved in the various school activities, PTA meetings, remain on numerous boards,
and weld a strong family unit while working outside the home. Her ability to
juggle these activities was absolutely amazing. I believed she was able to do
this because she always remembered that her primary calling was Mom. Her
calling was to nurture her family, teach them great values and proper work
skills. For this reason she set aside a week’s vacation to teach life-long
skills that helped us become the successful adults that she envisioned. What a
Mom!
Antonio
Booth
© 1993
© 1993